If I told you there was a word that had the power to give you energy to lead well, define your character, shape your relationships for the better would you want to use it?

The truth is, very few people use this word, and the absence of this word is killing people in ministry.  The most important word in ministry that few learn to use is this: No.

Even though it might not feel like it at the time, the word, “no,” is a freedom word.  It sets us up to live the full life that Jesus describes in John 10:10.   Yet, so many people fail to use this word.  As a result, many people are living with the disastrous consequences.  Here is the cost to saying, “yes,” all the time:

1. Saying, “Yes,” Drains Our Energy from the Most Important Stuff in Our Lives.  Our lives are like bank accounts.  If I choose to spend my money on every opportunity that is presented to me in a given week, I will soon run out of money for the most important things in my life.  I won’t have enough money to pay my mortgage, buy groceries, and pay my bills.  Likewise, when we spend our time and energy on every request that comes our way, we won’t have enough time and energy to spend on the most important things in our lives.  We will soon run out of time and energy to focus on our priorities, values and goals.  When we say, “yes,” all the time, we live a bankrupt life.
2. Saying, “Yes,” Compromises All Our Yeses.  Author Peter Block once said, “If you can’t say ‘no,’ your ‘yeses’ don’t mean a thing.”  Using the banking analogy again, a person that says yes all the time is the person who writes checks that bounce.  When we say, “yes,” to every request and opportunity, we are eventually going to bounce our checks.  The cost of saying, “yes,” all the time is a diminished character.  When we can’t follow through on a commitment or we have to cancel a commitment we have made at the last minute, we will be known as the person who is not dependable.
3. Saying, “Yes,” Reduces Our Presence with God and People.  When our schedules are so full, we look for ways to cut corners.  The easiest corner to cut is our attentive presence with people and God.  When we say, “yes,” to everything, we are really saying, “no,” to being fully present with people and to God.  In our meetings with God and with people, our presence becomes an inch deep and a mile wide.  Our time with God and people turns into a transaction.  With God, we turn a mysterious encounter with the lover of our souls into a check list of to-do items for him to complete.  With people, we turn holy encounters with co-image bearers who struggle with sin into problems to solve, or resources to harness, or objects to make us happy.

Saying, “yes,” all the time is costly. It creates a stench in our souls, in our relationships, and in our leadership.

Learn to say, “no,” today (even to good opportunities) because saying, “no,” gives us:

1. Energy to complete the most important things God has called us to

2. Character that is full, rich, and dependable

3. Presence to Deepen our Relationship with God and people

The road to living the full life Jesus talks about in John 10:10, begins by using the word, “no,” to all the good things in life in order to seek the best things that Jesus offers us.

Next week, I will tackle why we have such a hard time saying, “no,” in the first place.

What ways has using the word, “no,” given you freedom in ministry?