The last two weeks I shared part 1 and part 2 of my blog post series on prayer.  This week, I want to share with you the third reason why we avoid prayer.

Have you ever noticed that a person who listens is actually more interesting than a person who talks?

It sounds crazy, but the one who listens is always more interesting.   When people get together we usually get this backwards.  As a result, most conversations are built around a wrestling match of words.  When we talk to others, we are really vying for who’s story is more interesting, or who has the better wisdom, or who can make others laugh most.  Almost before the last word has a chance to form on our tongues, the other person starts speaking.

I confess that I engage in this wrestling match of words with my wife when she shares her heart over her concern for our kids, or her teaching career, or her friends.  Instead of stopping to ask more questions, I insert my words thinking that by them I can solve her problems, make her feel better, or just give her some needed encouragement.  But when I engage in this wrestling match of words with my wife before I have had a chance to let her words penetrate my soul to process what she is really saying, my words become as worthless as a wooden nickel.

There is a reason why I don’t listen.  I don’t like the reason, but I must confess that the reason I don’t listen is that I think my words are more important than hers. ( I would never tell her this directly of course, so please don’t tell my wife I said this.)  Yet, I secretly believe that if she would just listen to me, life would be better for her.  That’s about as arrogant as it gets isn’t it?

Well, here’s more bad news: I think this wrestling match happens in our prayer life as well.

HERE IS THE Third OF THREE REASONS WHY WE AVOID PRAYER:

I think we avoid prayer because we believe that our words are more important than God’s word.

The reason why we tend to avoid praying to God is that we are much more interested in what we have to say than in what God has to say to us.  We might functionally pray for our food, pray for others, and pray for our day, but the “how” is pretty important too.  In our prayers, are we spending the time telling God what to do, or are we actively listening for what God wants to do in us?

I think we avoid prayer because we believe that our words are more important than God's word. -Scott Vermillion Share on X

Those of you who are pastors or ministry leaders would never publicly say that our words are more important than God’s word, so here’s a test to see what you really believe:  When is the last time you prayed where you spent more time listening to God rather than speaking to him?  Or when is the last time you carved out at least 5 uninterrupted minutes in your weekend services just to give the congregation a chance to listen to God in prayer?  What could be more important than God’s word of life spoken into us in our silence?  (Certainly not that potluck announcement encouraging people to bring food to church next week.)  If you don’t make room for God’s word to have priority over your words, then you are avoiding true prayer.  Instead, you are engaging in a wrestling match of words with God.

I’ve been convicted recently that more of my time in prayer is spent telling God what I want to happen, instead of making room in my life for what God wants to happen in me.  Instead, I have been learning that prayer is about creating a sacred space in my life where I can gain the courage not only to listen to God’s word, but follow it as well.

The hard truth is that because many spiritual leaders are encouraged for their use of words spoken to others, they are the most prone to believing that their words are more important than God’s word.

HERE IS WHAT YOU CAN DO THIS WEEK TO CHANGE YOUR AVOIDANCE OF PRAYER INTO COURAGE TO PRAY:

Listen to Jesus

Peter, a gifted leader in the church, was a word wrestler.  He always had something to say because he thought that his words were more important than God’s word.  Remember in Mark 8 when Jesus took the disciples on a retreat in the beautiful hills of Caesarea Philippi?  It was there that Jesus confessed his identity to them as God’s messiah and his plan to fulfill that identity by his suffering and death.  Yet Peter didn’t like what Jesus had to say.  He pulled Jesus aside and began to rebuke him for speaking so hopelessly toward the men who left everything to follow Jesus.  However, Jesus had the last word.  He identified Peter’s words with the words of Satan himself because anyone who would elevate their words over Christ’s word is aligned with the enemy.  So much for a restful retreat for Peter.  However, he still didn’t learn the lesson.

The next weekend, Jesus took Peter, James and John up to a high mountain alone.  There, Peter was allowed to see Elijah and Moses talking with Jesus who had been transfigured into beaming light.  Peter being in love with his own words, interrupted the conversation Jesus was having with Moses and Elijah in order to insert his big idea to build some houses for the three.  It was then that God decided to make his point clear to Peter.  He descended in a cloud that enveloped them, and announced to Peter, “This is my Son, whom I love.  Listen to him!”  God couldn’t be more clear as to what our role is when we speak to him in prayer.  His word is infinitely more important than our own words.

Jesus himself gave us the courage to practice to listen to God in prayer when he taught the disciples how to pray.  Jesus’ opening line was this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:9).  We couldn’t be given better instruction on how to turn our prayers from a wrestling match of words with God into a spiritually forming encounter with God.  We do that by confessing from the beginning that God’s word is more important than our words.  In this prayer Jesus teaches us to confess:

1. God is in Heaven, and I am a mere mortal trapped in time.  We start our prayer with a true perspective on the one who wants to speak to us.  We need to confess that God is above us in every way in his character, power, importance, honor, and glory.

2. God’s name is to be hallowed, not my own.  When we see that the purpose of our praying is to make God’s name great, the quality of our prayers shift from list making to praise making.

3. God’s kingdom Come, not my kingdom.  When we praise God, we can then see the value of his kingdom, and we ask for him to establish it soon as it is the longing of our hearts to live with him.

4. God’s will be done, not my will.  When we see what God is capable of doing, we want more of his will and less of our own.

5. On earth as it is in heaven, beginning with me.  The first four phrases open us up to hear God.  The last phrase invites God to speak to us in a way that forms us into his image.  After gaining a true perspective of who it is that wants to speak to us, we can willingly submit our spirit to him so that he can establish all of himself into us.

When we begin to use the first line in the Lord’s prayer as the first line in our own prayers, we will begin creating a sacred space in our lives to listen to Jesus.  We will become fertile ground for God’s word to grow and produce much fruit in our lives and in our leadership.

So let’s not be like Peter and be word wrestlers.  Let’s stop avoiding God in our prayers by babbling on and on like Peter.  Let’s listen to Jesus.  Let’s use Jesus’ instruction on prayer to open ourselves up to submit to God’s word instead of asking God to submit to our words.

What helps you listen in prayer?